I have a question....and please, by all means, be honest...but kind :)
How does your HOH feel about dancing? Not with one another, but with others (girls, ofcourse) or even yourself?
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to dance..disco, rock, pop....whatever. Before K and I really started getting serious, I would be the first one on the dance floor and the last one off. I've been told I'm pretty good at it...but honestly, I don't care!! I have enough rhythm and know enough steps that I don't embarrass myself. This was also a time when I was spending alot to time in bars where there was music and such.
Since meeting K, I don't feel the need to be in bars. In fact, it wouldn't be allowed....and it definitely wouldn't be good for our relationship. However, I STILL love to dance!!
We went to a wedding this weekend. It was one of K's business associates; therefore, I didn't know many of the people. It was a very nice night....great weather, a couple cold beers, and some good dance music. I didn't want to dance then....I hadn't seen K for 3 days and I just wanted to be by his side, hold his hand, and enjoy each other. Later though, I got to thinking about it.
"What do you think about dancing?" I asked.
"What about it?"
"How do you feel about ME dancing?"
"With me?"
"WOULD you dance with me?"....had to slightly smile, b/c I just can't see that happening
"Sure, I'd slow dance with you anytime"
"What about fast?"
"Me?"
"No, me"...pause, holding breath
"I don't think that's a very good idea"
"That's what I thought".....sigh
That was the end of the discussion until last night during out "maintenance" meeting. This is the time we discuss unresolved issues, so I brought it up again. At first, I could tell he was a bit annoyed...but he listened....and we talked...and I explained how much I enjoyed dancing....he wanted to know why.....I explained...he asked more questions....I explained....we agreed to table a decision until a later time when it might be an issue. He is worried that it might cause more problems than it would be worth....have I ever told you he is EXTREMELY jealous? and possesive? and protective.
He sees that this might cause some major problems between us....I agree....but I also think we could navigate the waters and hopefully head off any issues ahead of time. He didn't tell me no...but he did say I should think about it and decide if I was willing to take the consequences if any issues did arise. So now I'm left wondering...is it worth it?
Anyone ever had a dilemma like this? I want him to make a decision...but I want the answer to be yes...now that he has left it up to me....I'm a bit flummoxed....
If I decide to go for it...am I disregarding his wishes? Am I pushing the limit? Should I just let it go knowing how he feels? Anyone have any thoughts or advice???
I want to do what is best for us...but I also don't want to give up something I really enjoy doing if we can come to a compromise..somebody.....HELP!!!
I have an opinion - but I doubt it will help. Nick would not care if I danced the night away, by myself, with a girlfriend, or with another guy. But you have to remember we are old, LOL! We've been married nearly 30 years and jealousy has never, ever been an issue. To be completely honest I have never understood jealousy. We're together because we want to be. It's that simple.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
PK
My husband is also protective and possessive. As long as he knows the people, or its female its ok. But if its male... he needs to approve it.
ReplyDeleteI'm with PK on the dancing a jealousy, however I have danced with other men who get a little too close for comfort and in that case, I just move on to another dance partner. I would say go for it, but remind him first where your heart lies.
ReplyDeleteNo men allowed...I can't dance with anyone else and he doesn't dance. Oh well. He's my man and I picked him! Hope you guys can work it out. One of the worst fights we ever had was when I danced with another man. Eight years later, he still won't allow me "out" in that town!
ReplyDeletePK...jealousy is such a double edges sword...but since it's been an issue before, I'm overly sensitive to it.
ReplyDeleteSAW...I think that may be the direction we are heading
MW...having a man get too close for comfort wouold be VERY bad. That's the one thing I'm worried about the most.
Stormy...I was pretty sure I knew what your answer would be! I agree with you...I knew what he was like when I picked him and I really don't expect him to change his spots (would probably freak me out if he did). I don't even want to think about what would happen if another guy "cut in"...thus,my reluctance. I'm so glad to have someone like you who really understands our dynamic...I still swear yours, mine and Grant were separated at birth!
Sorry about the typos, ladies....much too early to think or type straight!
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous that you ever get your man to even slow dance with you, LOL! Jay won't ever dance with me. But he does trust me if I want to go have fun.
ReplyDeleteWith your situation, though, I would say it sounds like it's okay to go out and dance with friends, but just be careful! With other guys, even unintentionally, is out of the question, and I think he's making sure you know that, while trying to not be too possessive. :)
Kay...the slow dance hasn't happened yet, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I think you are exactly right about the other dancing. Just trying to decide if it's even worth risking it...guess I'll have to make that decision when/if the time comes.
ReplyDelete