I have been reading with interest how some DD relationships utilize maintenance spankings. When we first started TTWD, K and I only used spankings for punishment. Since then (a little more than a year ago), we have incorporated regular weekly or bi-weekly maintenance spankings into our routine. I can't imagine not having them each week. They do so many things to bolster our relationship. Thought I would share our routine and rules (yes, we actually have this written down and review it at least once a month) . This is what works for us, does anyone else have something or some way different to share?
Our DD "agreement" includes the following about maintenance spankings:
Maintenance Spankings:
It is our belief that regular maintenance spankings should and will be given for the following reasons:
1. As a reminder to be a "good girl"
2. To firmly re-establish the "roles" of our relationship and strengthen our bonds as dominant and submissive.
3. To avoid letting small issues interfere with our relationship.
4. As a reminder that punishment spankings will hurt much worse and should be avoided at all costs.
5. To curtail any borderline behavior.
Maintenance spankings will be given using the following guidelines:
1. The will be conducted on Sunday evenings before bedtime at a location determined by K.
2. If not able to be given then, they will take place on the first available evening following.
3. Each session will begin with a review and discussion of our relationship rules and any changes or amendments that have been made. Also, any issues not addressed or resolved during the previous week will be discussed at this time.
4. Spanking guidelines:
A. will be given with hand only
B. Will be given over K's knee or over pillows on the bed
C. No corner time will be given
D. It is agreed that the spanking should be long enough and hard enough to make a strong impression but not nearly as severe as a punishment spanking
E. Cuddling/Soothing/Reassurance will be given freely after.
F. Sex is not only permitted but encouraged following each session.
G. All transgressions will be forgiven and a clean slate given for the upcoming week.
We have modified these somewhat since the beginning...for instance, K now starts with his hand but usually finishes with the leather strap and his big belt. The connection we have following these sessions is so strong, I can't imagine not having them regularly. Sometimes, when I've been especially stubborn, sassy, or unsubmissive, K will declare an "all ass weekend"....all ass, all the time.....I usually get back on track very quickly!! I am curious to know how other DD couples conduct maintenance...how frequently....with what implements...and do you have a ritual.....I look forward to hearing your comments.
I've written a lot about maintenence spankings on my blog, as for us too, it has become the cornerstone of TTWD. You can find it by doing a search on the blog, typing in "maintenance". It sounds like it is working great for you guys! Sara
ReplyDeleteWe use maintenance in our relationship as well. It usually takes place on Saturday or Sunday night, and is more of a serious event. I need a sort of "resetting" each week (sometimes more), and these spankings serve that purpose. He almost never uses his hand for these spankings. Usually he chooses implements, two or three, but sometimes he lets me choose. Most often a strap is involved, as straps are his favorite. We don't really have a ritual, but maintenance usually ends in tears and lots of cuddles.
ReplyDeleteSara-I've scoured your blog extensively...you and Grant usually serve as my "blueprint". As far as it working....so far...so good :)
ReplyDeleteHeather-I completely understand the "resetting". K usually calls it "getting my mind right" and he's correct! We started with just his hand (since he's 6'5 and 300 plus, u can understand how this might be effective ;)), however, we've graduated to ending with the strap or belt. I'm jealous you get to choose occasionally.....and I completely agree the tears cuddles are a MUST!! Don't know if others outside TTWD can understand the sense of connectedness that occurs. Thanks for posting.
We don't use it but if he ever decides to, I'll review this because I like your ideas. I would definitely want it written down so it was clear what to expect. I would have a difficult time submitting to maintenance but if he decides then that's that. The idea of maintenance makes me freeze in my tracks, I do not know why I have such a mental block or fear it so much.
ReplyDeleteIt has been suggested that I get enough as it is, and I agree!
Thanks Stormy,
ReplyDeleteI just revised and added/subtracted things from the original. I know not all couples actually write it down, but it makes both of us feel more secure in what and why we are having maintenance. It's an ever-changing, evolving matter.
BTW, I have to agree that you do get enough without maintenance. You are NEVER boring!! I love your spirit....