Taking Out the Trash

As I get older, you would think that I would realize that if you don't deal with a problem head-on, it will manifest itself somewhere else.  In an ordinary relationship, that might not be such a big thing.  In a Dd relationship, it can cause some major issues for your rear.

I am an only child.  I have a very complicated relationship with my mother.  Waaayyyy too complicated to get into here.  Let's just surfice it to say my mother is the queen of guilt.  I am really working on recognizing when I am being manipulated and not reacting to it. 

I spent last week with my mom and kids in Minnesota.  As you know, if you read my blog, K and I had some issues.  I think a lot of them were fueled by being confined in close quarters with my mother.  I don't feel like I can express myself with her.....so I "express" myself to K.  Much of the time, he doesn't appreciate my "expressions".

Anyway....back to today.  We were having a perfectly lovely day.  K was working in his office, I was finishing the breakfast dishes and working on some school work.  My cell phone shattered all that.....yes, it was MY MOTHER.  She had manufactured an "emergency" that I needed to deal with.  Now, normally, I would have rushed right in to take care of it, but this time, I took a step back, analyzed the situation, and decided "it's not my problem".  (That's my new mantra) She caused the issue, she needed to solve it without involving me.  Pleased with my decision, I went over to bounce it off of K before calling her back.  He agreed with my assessment and I returned her call.  She didn't like my decision, but the matter was settled.  I was pretty proud of myself; however, I guess I didn't realized how much it had taken out of me.

Right after my call, K made a joke about the trash bags I had bought for his office (yes, you heard me right, trash bags...I know, stupid).  They were way too small.  I took it as a personal attack...and MAN, did I fight back.....told him he didn't make himself clear on what he wanted, told him I didn't know the size of the trashcan, told him if he didn't like them, he could go get them himself (can you say transfer of anger?)...but I wasn't done yet...I stormed out of the office over to the house (while he was telling me to stop and come back....not once or twice, but about 5 times).....grabbed some other bags....stormed back over to the office and hurled them in his chair.  Nice tantrum, don't you think?  My preschoolers would have been sooo proud.

I started to stomp out when his steely voice stopped me.....STOP!!! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE!  That finally penetrating my anger fog.  I stopped dead in my tracks....still seething.....really? over trash bags???

He took me by the hand and led me to the couch.  I thought we were going to talk....WRONG! As soon as he sat down, he flipped me over his lap and gave me about 12 HARD swats. 

"I was just teasing you.  Don't take it out on me because you're mad at your mom.  I don't deserve it and you are OUT OF CONTROL!  This is stopping NOW!"

I got the point....and the tears came....I hugged him and apologized.  He hugged me and said he forgave me, but he WOULD NOT be my emotional punching bag when I was angry with someone else. 

Point taken.....I'm sitting here with a burning bottom.  Next time, I will try to find another way to release my emotions.....maybe with a stress relief spanking rather than 12 hard swats from K.  It just wasn't worth it.

And next time....she's going to voicemail