My Hero

Intimidating

Controlling

Take charge

Fearless

Confident

Tough

All words one would use to describe an HOH, right.......?

But not this time.  At one time or another, all these words have been used to describe ME! I am the mother of 4 boys who owns and operates my own successful business.  I have always defined myself in the above terms because that's what I thought I needed to be to make it in this world.

Then came K........

He has shown me that it's okay to be vulnerable.....

It's okay to be scared.....

It's okay to lean on another person.....

I gave him my hand (and my heart) and he has led me down this submissive path to happiness.  It's nice to not have to worry about the "details" all the time.  It's wonderful to let him take the lead for us.  He is truly one of the smartest, most passionate, and most impressive men I know.  I want him to take control....I need him to take control.....of us....of me. 

He tells me "No"....and means it

He sees through my BS

He calls foul when necessary

But he also loves me unconditionally....

He says he's sorry when he's wrong.....

He would kill for me.......

He expects the best of himself and expects nothing less from me.  He has taken this journey with me.  And I am truly thankful.  I just hope I can fulfill my end of the deal.  He is my hero.

I Need Johnny Cash

I need Johnny Cash.....he knows how to "walk the line"....I, apparently, do not.  K and I have been practicing DD for a little over 9 months.  We have made huge strides from the beginning to now.  Unfortunately, I still struggle with the submissive side when it comes to times that I feel slighted or hurt. We had a fairly traumatic couple of days last week for a variety of reasons.  Although the initial spat was caused by something he said, I definitely carried it WAY too far.  As a result, I got spanked with his belt and paddle Friday evening and again with the paddle Saturday morning.  I accept my part in the disagreement and we talked about and agreed upon some additional ground rules to hopefully avoid the problems in the future.  The main thing we agreed upon (me a bit more reluctantly than he) is that he is in control...ALL THE TIME....and what he says goes.  For some reason, I have a hard time remembering this occasionally. After Saturday, we seemed to be back on track...closer and happier than ever.

Then came Monday.......

K is one of the most brilliant business men I have ever known.  He is smart, savvy, tough, competitive and highly successful.....definitely an alpha male.  He's had a few issues at work that have him edgy and stressed.  He called me late Monday afternoon saying it had been a tough day, that he was not in a very good mood, and that he missed me.  After the weekend we had, I was leery about walking into the "lion's den".  The evening started off well...we sat on the porch and talked to unwind.  However, as the evening progressed events transpired that deeply hurt my feelings.  I tried to explain to him how I felt, but it escalated into me raising my voice....a definite NO NO....and yep, I got spanked again. 

Please, some of you with more experience than me, explain how to walk the line between respecting him, respecting myself, and respecting our relationship.  I need help!!!

First Time

This is my first try at posting some thoughts.  I have been lurking around Sara and Stormy's sites for quite a while now.  I decided to try it myself.  Everyone is the DD community seems so welcoming and cordial.  I have learned so much about TTWD by reading all the posts.  Hopefully, the education will continue.  If you stumble across this, please post a comment.  I look forward to meeting and knowing all of you.