Here's Your Sign........

Did you ever play the game, "Thumper", in college?  It was a drinking game where you would pound rhythmically on the table then make your "sign" (i.e. a wink, a nose wiggle, snap...whatever) in succession..adding another sign each time....if you messed up the order, you had to take a drink....or something like that...it HAS been over 20 years.  I used to be REALLY good at that game...and recognizing other's signs.

I could have used that experience last night.  K and I took one of his business colleagues out to dinner.  It was a really cool Cajun place with music playing and a large dance floor with swirling couples. As we walked in, I asked K (who is a born and bred Texas man) if the couples were doing the two step.  "Sure looks like it", he told me to which I innocently said, "Man, I'd love to learn to do that" (visions of John Travolta in Urban Cowboy) swirling in my head.

As we sat down, K's business partner started explaining the two step to me....one forward...two back...or vice versa. Trying to be polite, and relieved to listen to something besides talk of T-joints, bar machines, suspension blah, blah, blah, etc., I engaged in some conversation about the dance.  The music would change occasionally and he would comment on whether it was a polka, waltz, etc.  This man just had a major hip injury and walks around like a dog hit by a car.  During our conversation about one of the dance styles, he remarked, "if I didn't have this bum hip, I'd show you how to do the two step, myself"...to which I politely smiled. 

What does this have to do with signs?  Well, apparently, during our conversation, K was sending me subtle "signs". At one point, he rubbed my leg with his(?)....I took this as "love you"...so I rubbed back....a bit later, he squeezed my hand....again, I squeezed back...yes, baby, I love you.....finally, he leaned over and kissed my ear, whispering, "enough of the dance talk".  Hmmmm, ok, no problem....and so ended the dance conversation.

We finished our meal, continued talk about our respective families and children, I listened to more "shop talk" and we returned to the hotel all together.  After we let his colleague off at his floor and continued to ours, an arctic chill swept through the elevator....hmmmmm....starting to see a sign here.

In our room, I was met with total silence....and a steely glare.   Another sign....so, I asked..."Is there something wrong, honey"......to which he replied,"why don't YOU tell ME?".....I was  honestly bewildered...wracking my brain trying to think of what I could have done wrong....I came up with NOTHING.....so I told him that.....

What followed was one of the most puzzling, troubling arguments we've ever had.  He felt I had "opened the door" to a possible bad situation by discussing dancing with his business contact.  All because the man said if he hadn't had a bad hip, he would have showed me how to two step....HUH???  I would never dance with another man under any circumstances....I was just trying to make polite conversation.....he just couldn't understand that...and let me know that in no uncertain terms since he had been seething for most of the meal.  "Didn't you catch any of the signs I gave you????"....."WHAT signs?"...."I rubbed your leg, squeezed your hand....I finally had to just tell you!!"  I swear if he wouldn't have been so angry, I probably would have laughed....it was all so ridiculous.......but he was angry....really, really angry...he felt I had put him in a bad position if he would have had to step in and stop me from dancing with this guy....as if that ever would have happened.  We finally agreed to disagree...I promised to try to be more careful in what I said (although, I'm still not sure exactly what I did wrong) and he agreed to let me know more efficiently when a situation was bothering him.

So, he wants us to have a "sign" to let each other know if a situation is going in the wrong direction....so what do you think....eye roll....no......shoulder twitch....probably not.....maybe I should just pick my nose....I'm a little lost on this one.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Do you have subtle signs you use in your relationship?  I'm looking for some help.....anyone???