The Time Has Come

The blush is off the rose.....and been placed elsewhere.....

I'm feeling much better, K is feeling much better....and the re-organization, re-establishment, re-connection has begun.

I have been slipping for a while now.  I'm not sure how it happens.  It's kind of like a stone rolling down the hill.....first it's very, very slow....but as it gains momentum (and with nothing to stop it), it begins to careen down the hillside.  Eventually it will crash to a halt (when it hits that brick wall), but it's a heck of a ride til then.

My attitude and submission are on that rocky slope.  It started out with just small things....an eye roll....a slight mutter under my breath....just the slightest hesitancy when asked to do something (or stop doing something).   As time went on, I got a bit braver...an exaggerated sigh, my muttering got louder, a pout here, a stomp there......to where I find myself today....a blatant No when asked to comply with a request, stalling, arguing (I like to call it reasoning...K doesn't), and even some retaliation (a playful pinch or slap).

Like I said, I have been really sick...and K will not punish when I'm not myself.  I know I'm better because the total orneryness (is that a word?) is back with a vengeance.  I like to pretend that I'm "just playing" or "just teasing", but we both know that's not the case.  I'm testing...and pushing....and poking the big, bad bear.

Maybe it's because it's been so long since I've really had a good, long dose over his knee.  Maybe it's because I know I want him to step in and enforce the limits.  Maybe I just want to see if he can still fill the role I need from him.

We need to get back on track.  We've talked about it...he knows....I know he knows....and he's assured me that as soon as our company leaves, we're going to have a long discussion about how to get back to where we were.  And for a while, there is going to be zero tolerance on his part.  

That makes me glad....and anxious....and reassured. 

I don't care what anyone else thinks about the way we choose our lifestyle.  I've learned enough about myself to know what I need and how I need it.  I might not know why I need it, but I do....and so does he.  It doesn't make me a child, or a freak....it makes me a woman who will do whatever necessary to make my relationship the best that it can be.   I'm ready to reconnect, re-establish, and re-educate.


And I know just the man for the job......

Help!!!! I'm computer illiterate!!!

Can anyone help me?  I'm trying to comment on other posts and even my own....but blogger keeps telling me I do not have permission and that I should log out and enter another account.....but I only have one!!!  

Help....does anyone have any suggestions?

I'd ask my kids, but, you know, the blog might freak them out....LOL...

Thanks, all you computer whizzes!!

The Good News Is.....The Bad News Is.....

It's been so long since I've posted, I've almost forgotten how!

I have been down with double pneumonia for almost a week now.  What started as a cold (or so I thought), has manifested itself into full blown pneumonia.  I thought I was getting better, but then WHAM...it hit me again and I finally broke down and went to the doctor.  On the bright side, I feel so much better today than yesterday, and hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

So, knowing all that...the good news is there haven't been any spankings around here lately.....


The bad news is....there haven't been spankings around here lately......

K absolutely refuses to spank me if I am sick or hurting....absolutely, positively, none....which is actually a good thing.  I know I would have hacked up what was left of my lungs if he had tried.

Conversely, I miss it

I'm relieved.....I want it, but I don't.....I need it, but I'm anxious.  It's been so long since I've been over his lap, I hardly remember what it's like. 

The last maintenance we had was very close to my period and I was super sensitive. He even remarked how much I was squirming....

So now what?  I'm on the mend.  I should be up and around in the next few days.  I know it's only a matter of time.....which makes me smile....and makes me nervous.

I'm not the best patient in the world.  I have a hard time letting others take care of me......K has been absolutely wonderful....catering to me, bringing me snacks, milkshakes, back rubs, foot rubs, magazines, medicine....anything and everything I wanted.  If I ever doubted he loved me....it's been reinforced ten-fold.  However, there were times when I felt I could get up and do things that I really shouldn't have.  He told me NO in no uncertain terms....I argued...and pleaded....and begged....and pouted (just a bit), so I have a feeling we are going to have some "discussions" about this.

We've already talked about how we need to ease back into our routine...my tolerance is way down....but he has already told me we WILL be getting back into our routine sooner rather than later. 


The good news...the spankings are going to return soon....

The bad news is.....the spankings are going to return soon....

But I'm ready (I think)